The Rector’s Report in Poetry and Prose

Last week we experienced Jubilee Sunday at St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church in Edina, Minnesota. The celebration included one worship service (instead of the usual four), followed by our annual meeting in the church and a festive brunch across the street at the Edina Country Club. It was a lot of fun. Seriously.

Events with an annual meeting at the heart of them are not something that most people look forward to. The Rev. Tim Schenck , an Episcopal priest in Massachusetts, explains this well in his blog post “Annual Meeting Haiku,” which concludes with a poetic description of this yearly ritual that the canons require:

Budget blah, blah, blah
Something about Jesus Christ
Please up your pledges.

Here’s another one that was offered in the comments:

Four corn casseroles
Cherry Cross of Jello. Say
Aye. Applause! AMEN!!

So I was inspired to write a haiku about our time together at St. Stephen’s:

Seventy-five years
in Christ. Budget surplus for
Three years. Now let’s eat!

That’s the short version. The long version is the Rector’s Report: Continue reading

Holy halos, “Is Mr. or Mrs. Stephens available?”

Most readers of Laughing Water know that I’m an Episcopal priest and serve as the Rector of St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church in Edina, Minnesota. Most also know that I have a sense of humor. So I was greatly amused this afternoon when someone called the church, asking a staff member if “Mr. or Mrs. Stephens” was available. One person has suggested that an appropriate response might have been, “I’m sorry, the martyr is out.” However, I probably would have referred this lost soul to a newly unveiled website for Lent Madness 2012. That’s where folks like today’s slightly confused caller can learn about martyrs, saints, and heros of faith from our own time, too. It also includes a bit of humor.

Last year I was asked to contribute to Lent Madness as a celebrity blogger on behalf of C.S. Lewis, who ultimately won the “golden halo” in this tournament that I like to refer to as “The Saintly Smackdown.” I’m happy to report that I’ve been asked to return as one of eight celebrity bloggers for Lent Madness 2012.

This is going to be fun! I wonder if I’ll get to write about Mrs. Stephens . . .

Monday Connection: Professional Life/Home Life #2

Monday Connection: Professional Life/Home Life #1

The Episcopal Church is to McDonald’s as . . . what?

Yesterday in the Commonwealth of Virginia, the Fairfax Circuit Court ruled in favor of the Diocese of Virginia and the Episcopal Church in litigation to recover church property from seven congregations that left the Episcopal Church. These congregations, which became affiliated with the Convocation of Anglicans in North America (CANA) did not, however, vacate the buildings. The ruling states that the CANA congregations “must promptly relinquish control over the properties to the Diocese.” This is good news for many of my old friends there.

You can read the entire ruling here, but there’s one section that really caught my attention, making me both laugh a bit and wanting to order a Big Mac for lunch:

(8) CANA disputes the Diocese’s assertion that vestries are agents for the church. Rather, CANA argues that “[a] closer analogy” of the relationship between the denomination and a local congregation is that between a “franchisor and a franchisee.” Thus, “McDonalds may dictate the restaurant’s accounting practices, layout, menu, promotions, prices, employee uniforms, employee training, and placement of the golden arches,” and a “franchisee [that] fails to do business in a prescribed manner … may be enjoined from continuing to operate in any manner that suggests an affiliation with the franchise,” but that does not mean “a disaffiliating franchisee will forfeit any land it purchased with its own money in furtherance of the franchise relationship.” (CANA Brief #2 at 35-36.)

This analogy is not apt at any level. The nature of the relationship between a hierarchical denomination, its diocese, and a local congregation is not analogous to that between a hamburger company and a hamburger outlet. The contributions made by a diocese to a local church, especially one which begins as a diocesan mission, and the contributions made by a local church to its diocese, is not analogous at any level to the fast food industry or its franchisees. The constitutional and canonical requirements for serving as a rector or a member of a vestry, and the requirements governing the alienation and encumbrance of consecrated and unconsecrated properties, and the role that lay leaders in a congregation may play in the governance of the Diocese and even of the denomination, simply do not compare to the business of running a McDonald’s franchise. While it is true that “placement of the golden arches” may be no more complicated than the placement of a street sign announcing the presence of an Episcopal Church, what lies behind that sign is infinitely more complex.

Reading those words reminded me of this clever poster by the good folks at the Church Ad Project. It features a photograph of a couple of communion wafers beside a wine-filled chalice. The title says, “Over 10 Trillion Served,” and the last sentence at the bottom says, “We don’t have a drive thru, but we always have room at the Lord’s Table.” That’s true, and we’re also open on Sundays!

Monday Connection: Finding Time to Reflect Deeply

The Archbishop of Canterbury’s New Year Message


Here are the concluding thoughts of the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, in his New Year message for 2012:

One of the unique things in the Christian faith, one of its great contributions to our moral vision, is the way it has spoken about children and young people. Whether it’s Jesus blessing children, or St. Paul encouraging a young church leader, saying, ‘Don’t let people look down on you because you’re young,’ or St. Benedict in his rule for monks saying that you need to pay attention to the youngest as well as the oldest – Christian faith has underlined the essential importance of giving young people the respect they deserve.

Of course they’re not infallible; of course they have a lot to learn. So do we all. But being grown-up doesn’t mean forgetting about the young. And a good New Year’s Resolution might be to think what you can do locally to support facilities for young people, to support opportunities for counselling and learning and enjoyment in a safe environment. And above all, perhaps we should just be asking how we make friends with our younger fellow citizens – for the sake of our happiness as well as theirs. A very happy and blessed New Year to you all.